EUROMOMENTS

After some delay, carlytime productions is pleased to present exclusive images from Evridiki's recent visit to London. The 2007 Cypriot entrant played to a delighted crowd at Club Palace on Green Lanes, and Euromoments' very own Carlytime and Mr Thompson were there to capture it on camera for our darling readers (that's us plus noogie - Hello us! We love you long time ). After an extended introduction auf Greek (we smiled and clapped when everyone else did) and the presentation of various several bouquets of flowers by eldery gentlemen, we were treated to a performance of this year's entry, Comme ci, comme ça . There followed a solo set from Dimitris, who looked very lovely (right) and certainly had some dedicated fans in the majority-Cypriot audience. During Dimitris' solo performance, young Evridiki hopped off the stage and joined the crowd to watch her pal. At this point, your bloggers stopped breathing and began to fizz and pop with excitement, as we were inche

Has anyone else started to wonder how Valletta is going to cope with the influx of 10 million flag-waving, fake-tan-wielding Eurofans in May 2008? The first time I saw Malta's national final performance I wrote Olivia Lewis' effort off as an out-and-out mess. I wished that they'd stuck to the On again, off again format and left all this "epic" nonsense behind. Then the video came out, and I felt sorry for poor Olivia - all she wanted was a nice big Chiara tune to belt out in Helsinki, and they've made her run around like something from a French & Saunders parody while being chased by a ghost (sh*t, there I go spoiling the ending for you...) But here's the catch. I've shown this video to some select non-Euro cohorts, and THEY LIKE IT. THEY THINK IT WILL DO VERY WELL. What result will May 10th produce? They say yes. I say no. Loving ESC gives me vertigo.

Hello possums. Well, to use another word of which our dear Dame Edna is fond, Easter is a spooky time of year (coming back from the dead an' all that). So, I thought I'd treat you to a little mystic Euro-connection. Have you noticed that both Ireland and Iceland use "stage" and "cage" to form a rhyming couplet in their 2007 Euro entries? Check it out: Ireland Lyrics Iceland Lyrics Thanks to The Diggiloo Thrush for the lyrics. "Jeepers Creepers! That Carlytime's a tough one!" I hear you cry. But wait - there's more. Listen verrrrry carefully to Belarus and France because they carry the same damned violin riff in the backing track (thanks to noogie and Mr Thompson for the tip-off). You'll poop your pants and wow your Euro-pals with that little nugget. Happy Easter Chickens.

Volume 2: Descent of the Drag Queens Oh we are a lucky bunch of europhiles this year, with not one but two men dressed as women to entertain us in ESC. Because, of course (come on now, everybody sing it together:) "Eurovision is all about fun and having a good time". Dressing up as a woman has not always been my idea of fun and I AM ONE. Fortunately, it's not necessary to run away just yet, as the two cross-dressing countries of 2007 fall beautifully under my two favourite labels... HOT Ukraine - Lasha Tumbai - Verka Serdyuchka For the heated debate on the meaning of the song title, see Noogie's most recent posting. This has turned into quite the sensation of 07. Poor old Verka has brought us a rather amusing little turbo-folk ditty that harks back to Alf Poier's Austrian entry of 2003, with quirky costumes, the old accordian (Wogie loves his accordian) and some nice catawauling backing vocals. On first listen, it's the kind of thing you think you'd prefe

So, all of a sudden we find ourselves in that funny "no-man's-land" between the National selections and the contest where you might think there's no need for a blog. But that would be sad for Carlytime, so I'll soldier on whether you like it or not. During this phase of Euroseason there's traditionally a lot of attention given to discussions of the different countries' relative chances, the running order, placing bets etc. I don't think I can tackle (or you can bear to read) an analysis of potential qualifiers/winners/top 5s etc. Instead, I'm going to offer a few snapshots of opinion now and then, where I say a little something about which songs I'm enjoying, which make my teeth itch and how I think things might pan out for both categories of song in May. Volume 1 - Female soloists: Latin vs. Lordi? HOT: It could just be my hormones this week, but I'm thoroughly enjoying the angst-rock offerings in this year's line-up. Finland's Han

“There are not words to speak of There are not words to say There are not songs to sing on News days like today There’s only time to carry These darkest doubts away There’s only hope to cling to On days like today Should hang our heads in shame What we’ve done in (Carola's) name Should hang our heads in shame Only ourselves to blame” I am only just now coming round from my weekend rage. I hadn’t been that angry since the invasion of Iraq. For quite a while after I had that horrible exhausted feeling that you get when you’ve had a really bad argument with someone. Horror as Scooch make the final two. Joy as Cyndi is announced as the winner. Confusion. Horror. Despair. Darkness. Should we blame Wogie for this emotional battering? Many Eurofans have wanted him publicly burned for a lot less than this. I have a deep (some would say unhealthy) love for this man and would consider myself a TYG. In spite of all the recent flack, I’m not giving up on you Wogie. However, this is the sort o

quick addendum - i think i might have judged the ukranian entry a little hastily. After accusations that the demented chacken was heard chanting "Russia goodbye!" during the winning performance, the tinfoil encased babushka refuted the accusations immediately. "You doozies! I was singing 'Lasha Tumbai'" she cried, claiming it was OF COURSE Mongolian for 'whipped cream'. Worried NTU execs were temporarily assuaged, but cynics at diggiloo.net were not to be fooled, and on consulting mongolian scholars on the matter, discovered that- shock horror!! - whipped cream is actually called something else in Mongolian. Dame Verka, meanwhile, remains resolute to the point that she has changed her song title to "Dancing Lasha Tumbai". Brilliant.

According to my nice black marks and spencers diary, tonight is the eve of the vernal equinox on which day, according to said source, spring begins. Sprang! Could have fooled me, for whoever "they" are, they seem to be making a pretty damn good job of it so far. HOWEVER, the line "the archipelagic icicles have melted like the cage" has provoked debate in come circles (ok, one circle... well, actually triangle) and i was delighted that my favourite communist newsletter the guardian G2 yesterday enlightened me. The line is a reference to "The Gulag Archipelago", the seminial work by nobel prize winner Alexandr Solzhenitsyn who was sentenced to eight years in the gulag or Soviet labour prison camp after he critised Stalin in private correspondence with a friend. Of course! Like, duuuh. Meanwhile, the United Kingdom's entry provides a comparable showcase for lyrical subtlety: " Care for some salted nuts sir ?" No i damn well wouldn't, you rep

I'm doing my best to compose myself...but it's not easy. The men, women, boys and girls of this nation in which I reside have, in their infinitesimal wisdom, chosen Scooch to represent the British Isles in Helsinki. Four 30-something never-has-beens, dressed as airline trolley dollies, making innuendous interjections about "something to suck on while you land, sir?" over a backing track that probably once nearly made it as a Steps B-side. Thanks guys. I initially felt encouraged by the huge studio, the modern set, and by the general standard of presentation. I got into the spirit of things, feeling a little sorry for Brian Harvey as I watched his mum wipe his mouth for him in the postcard VT (someone tell me you saw this too - tragic), and even when he subsequently strained his way through the 3 minutes of his constipation-station ballad I felt uncomfortable, but safe. I thought the studio panel of 41 European neighbours was a nice touch. And I was delighted to see my

Honest to God though. Seriously though… Last but (not?) least. After remaining silent on the carry-on that is about to occur in Maidstone (recently voted fifth most exciting place in Kent) I thought I should say something. I had originally noted some short reactions and was going to blog them, but then thought that a moment’s silence might be a better reaction. Here is what I first thought on first hearing the 30 second clips: Big Brovaz: ‘Big Bro Thang’. One of the only songs to have any impact on me, it may be too credible for Eurovision. Hard to believe, I know. If we were going to send the sainted Morrissey though… Cyndi: ‘I’ll Leave My Heart’. Sounds like ‘You Raise Me Up’ which sounded like ‘Oh Danny Boy’ and that had taken its melody from the ‘Derry Air’. My concentration didn’t cover the full 30 seconds: I had clicked on a youtube clip of an i-pod being blended before Cyndi had finished. Brian Harvey: ‘I Can’ Too earnest and too high, even for Eurovision. Liz McClarnon: ‘

UK citizens, what I am about to write below demands your full attention. It may make for difficult reading, but I genuinely have your best interests at heart. I honestly (to God, though. Seriously, though) believe that you should VOTE FOR CYNDI in the UK's "Making Your Mind Up" national final (BBC1, 7.30pm). And, in the words of my dear Simon Cowell, "I'll tell you why": 1. Dignity - This is something that goes more than a little way in the voting when the Eurovision final comes round. Many people are deluded into thinking that the sparklier and slaggier the performance, the bigger the score. This is incorrect. If your song is slaggy, it also needs to be good to climb the scoreboard. Go figure - it's not called the Eurovision Song Contest for the craic. And having listened to the songs on offer from MYMU 4, none really display this critical combination. Cyndi's ballad might seem too safe, but I'd rather be wearing sensible shoes in a Volvo est

This is my moment. This is my Euromoment. With you. Not so long ago, I hit the wall. Eurofriends, you know what I mean. That moment when you've seen so many MP3s and YouTube clips, quarter-finals, semi-finals, second chances and wildcards that you can't see how you're going to make it through, but you know that there's no way back. So, I took myself across the pond to the place that gave birth to 1970's Eurovision victor - she who is known as Dana Domestic - to seek solace and inspiration. I made it. The breakthrough happened when I stood atop the Cliffs of Moher at sunset, with the ice cold coastal winds practically whipping the skin off my face. My first thought was not concern for my complexion, or my safety at the top of a 200m sheer drop in gale force gusts. All I could think of was how spectacular it would be to have a gold lamé outfit with a 5x10m blue satin cape and a set of 5 backing dancers with flags. I then experienced what I can only describe as an epip

Various serveral weeks later after a deluge of national finals, semi finals and a spanish selection which had massiel declare live on set that they better pay her more or she was going home to her bed (rumour has it TVE executives stuck their fingers in their ears and went la la la), battered and bruised my musical sensitivities may be but we almost have a line-up... And the good news is that the moments of brilliance:silly mistakes ratio is in the black, and that bold statement comes prior to my indoctrination phase. I feel there is a bit of an imbalance with a lot of strong stuff in the semis with some unworthy ingrates cruising into the final without so much as a wind machine, so undoubtedly there will be some wailing, grinding of teeth and gnashing of bones come semi final night. But it would seem a timely moment to focus on some highlights (not justin's, the attention would only encourage him, naughty step for erm... 34 minutes... NOW) and the worst cretchins. The earliest b

...Gets a little toasty. www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/eurovision/2007/mymu The conclusive proof that it is unnecessary to have the full facts before passing judgement.

You see I've already waited too long ...and all my hope is gone. Now is today. D-day for the UK. Finally. Almost all my hope is gone but in spite of all the signs, I am still frantically clinging to the dream that there will be some decency in the UK selection for Eurovision. The unveiling of what lays in store is set to take place at a secret glamorous West End location later today. ‘Best Kebab’ on Charing Cross road then. I thought I should write now while a sliver of hope still exists and there is still a tiny window for speculation; (even though it looks like our collective fate is sealed). The big announcement has been a long time coming. I don’t think I could have coped with much more of a wait. The weeks of silence have driven me to crazy conspiracy and nightmares. At one point I thought that withdrawal might even be on the cards. Who could it be? The brilliant eurosite 'Whoops Dragovic' revealed Feb 28th as the date of the Big Beeb announcement and stated that “Su

...Feeling 52, acting seventeen. Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid. Well, at least a little anxious anyway. In my last post I stated that by taking on Carola, Diego (competitor in Spanish Eurovision selection process ‘Misíon Eurovisíon’) clearly did not know what he was messing with. This was the last thing that I did before being struck down by a mysterious illness. It appears that it is I who did not know The Force that I was dealing with. As soon as I had clicked the ‘post’ button, Our Carola who art in Sweden, got to work with some sort of me-shaped voodoo diarrhoea doll. On reflection, I’m not quite sure how that would work. But it did. I have only just recovered. Every word is watched (and this is a blog that seems impossible to find by google or any other means). If this were not evidence enough, She is dusting off her bible as we speak and IS on the next flight out to Madrid. It is not long announced that The Haggkvist is to perform the song of her second coming (“Fångad av en Stormvin

And Spain continues its Eurovision Mission, doing its bit to bring about another 'big four' bottom four result in 2007. This young man is a genuine contender in the Spanish search for their Eurovision Performer this year. I find it hard to believe there was no Spanish Simon Cowell or Iberian 'Wicked Witch of the Walsh' to stop him getting as far as a studio performance and a public vote. Surely this is a joke? If it's not, fair fucks to him. I would LOVE to have had the balls and necessary lack of any self awarness to have done this. He claims to be a fan of the Haggkvist, but he really seems to have no idea of the Force that he his meddling with. I just hope for all our sakes, (but mainly for his) that Carola NEVER finds out about this. She'll be on the next flight out to Madrid with a gun or a pot plant. Failing that she'll take her spell book, sorry, Bible and will carry out a 'Dehomofication' ceremony on poor Diego. Complete with the traditional

...Just like everybody else does. After the initial furore in the UK press over the sainted Morrissey, we haven't heard a peep out of the Beeb since. While the rest of Europe explodes in an orgasm of song, the UK has fallen silent. One of my favourite Google searches at the moment is typing in the three words 'girls', 'aloud' and 'eurovision', on the off chance that some conspiracy speculation page will provide some thread of hope that I will "get what I want".(please? please?). On my most recent google I came across yet another article about Morrissey (you can read it here ). The most interesting info gleaned however had nothing to do with him. It appears that at least one other person has spotted the achingly obvious answer to who the BBC should approach for Helsinki: the pop perfection song writing machine that is Brian Higgings and Miranda (one of Gina G's Oohh..Ahh 1996 backing dancers) Cooper: Xenomania. Time will tell if anyone with any

In response to a comment, Portugal's national selection this year is coming up on 2nd March, and I'll try to offer my impressions then... but I can safely say that the only way is up for Portugal in the contest, after a dismal recent run.

This is going to be relatively quick and painless. I have exposed my ears to the songs in the third semifinal of the Icelandic selection. You can find all the songs here . I have picked two songs that I think are deserving of progression to the final: Ég og heilinn minn - Ragnheiður Eiríksdóttir - After my initial shock that a look-a-likey Carlytime is vying to cross the ESC stage for Iceland, I can report that this is quite a nice, upbeat ditty with a very pleasing melody and a strong chorus. It's not really the kind of thing I would normally go for, having a sort of 60s, Itchykoo Park feeling to it, but somehow it really hooks you in from the start. She's got a kooky little voice in which the Icelandic sounds very charming - I'm reminded of fellow Icelandic band Mum in terms of voice quality despite the big difference in musical style - and I can see this making an impact in Helsinki. Everyone is raving for the return of 2003's Jonsi and I'm really not buying it

.. what have you done? The three contenders for the guaranteed Grand Final spot in Helsinki have just been published online. You can find the audio files from here , if you dare expose your ears. Basically, these are a sorry disappointment from Germany. Things were really looking up in 2006 with Texas Lightning, who deserved to finish in a much better position in Athens. However, this national selection final looks like a survival of the blandest. Roger Cicero's song, Women rule the world , is a Michael Buble style swing number with an alright melody and an okay orchestration. I haven't quite deciphered the lyrics from the 2 listens I've given it, but I suspect that the content would have feminists all over Europe throwing their rosehip teas at the screen on May 12th - let's just say he's not singing about Kanzler Angela and Condie Rice in this little ditty about sweetness and long legs. Monrose's Even Heaven Cries is about the blandest of the three, but strang

I have spent some of my happiest moments over a plate of pierogi or a bottle of Zywiec, and so I always reserve a little space in my affections for the Polish national selection. However, my confidence in this loveliest of nations has taken a knock (actually, make that several blows with a sledgehammer) in recent years after a spate of questionable offerings on the ESC stage. I'll acknowledge a certain fondness for the nasal tones and high-kicking raunchiness of Blue Cafe in 2004, but 2005's grease-soaked folk offering was a real "one listen is enough- two means death" special. The 2006 return of Ich Troje was a big disappointment. I knew all was lost when the female lead singer's pregnant belly was violently disrobed as some sort of touching song finale. Anyway, that's all by the by... the very good news is that it is Polish national selection time once again. And, after listening to the ten finalists, I am...wait for it... HOPEFUL. It was a lovely Monday mor

Firstly, I must say how metropolitan it makes me feel to be considered part of a north london eurovision collective. Since I live the life of a provincial humbug in Cambridge, the title makes me feel like a ryanair airport. The rustlings of pseudonews regarding semi-quarter-pre-pre-prequalifiers announce that the silly season is about to begin. This is generally bad news for my professional life, home life and personal hygiene as what free moments i can muster shall be spent readjusting whatever frame of reference of musical taste that i ever claimed to have had to listen to 150 ukranian qualifiers for the organisers to choose something that wasn't amongst them in the first place. I'm still bitter about that. However, certain early birds have caught even me by surprise. From the brink of allowing loca boca choca the to resound forever in our innocent ears as their second and final contribution to our favourite festival of european haute-culture, imminent withdrawl sudden

It has often been said that The Corrs were made for Eurovision, but somehow they've resisted. I'm told they're still selling records somewhere, which usually all but disqualifies UK and Ireland acts from participating. However, my suspicions of a 2007 appearance on the ESC stage have been roused by no fewer than THREE playings of Corrs songs in the Rovers Return during the last week. Are we having The Corrs gently massaged into our subconscious by the British media, in preparation for our favourite honorary MBEs to raise the flag for the UK in Helsinki? Or did Steve McDonald pluck the Unplugged album from Woolworths' bargain basket for his mammy's Christmas present? Speaking of The Corrs, my tip to win the first heat of the Icelandic selection is a lovely wee ditty called "Blómabörn" by Bríet Sunna Valdemarsdóttir. Check it out here. Very Corrs-esque, I would say, and reminiscent of Birgitte's "Open Your Heart" of 2003. Not an ESC winner, tho

So, is Morrissey really what I wanted? The UK National Selection is a topic that has dogged the minds of your bloggers over recent months. Despite a series of disappointing results in the ESC, the majority of the show's UK viewers still comfort themselves that Eurovision is just a chance to have a chuckle at all those silly Europeans anyway ( Dear British citizens: Which continent is the UK in exactly?) . Well, that's all got a bit difficult. There we were in 2003, praising the glorious advent of Turkish ethno-pop, while one half of a little-known Liverpudlian duo strutted around like a faulty Tina Turner robot and made our ears bleed by singing a semitone out the whole way through their aching 3-minute performance. In 2004, a young man in a powder blue suit, who could best be described as dead behind the eyes, encouraged us to "Hold On" . Oh, we tried... and while 2006's Manc in a yellow anorak captured our hearts, a thirty-something rapper with a clutch of Mart

Let the self indulgence begin...

welcome. i still haven't decided whether having my own blog is no more than a ridiculous self-indulgence that, at best, will end after six months with zero comments and my head in the oven. however, i've convinced myself that i have something to say. after all, there are only about a million other websites that concern themselves with that celebrated grand prix of song and culture that is the Eurovision Song Contest. and, in my opinion, that is one too few. let's just see what happens. happy 2007 - only 127 days to go.