EUROMOMENTS

A Party Political Broadcast on behalf of CWRHAFTWS (The Cher-Watching Rastafarian Hell’s Angels and Fish Tunnel Walkers of Sweden).

Not Julie and Ludwig, Linda Martin's farts or the individual fruit trifles at the back of my fridge. But this: http://euroviisut.yle.fi/osallistujat It's about time someone made a start. Only the best part of eight months left after all. Christmas cards in June, Eurovision songs in October-it's all differerent from when I were a lad. I feel a bit car sick, excited but car sick. Here we go...

and my faith is strong now JADE EWEN what you on? What's going on? Just as Jade is about to release her follow-up single to her Eurovision entry it is rumoured that she is set to become the sixth person to get on the merry-go-round round that is the Sugababes. Some background: It’s January 2009 and the BBC mean business. Eurobusiness. They get off to an uncharacteristically early start with a multi-week selection show to choose an artist for Eurovision. Last minute plant, sorry entrant Jade Ewen is head and shoulders above the competition. Even though the BBC appear to be taking things seriously, the lurking feeling persists that the UK public will push dignity over a cliff as Eurovision is a joke and nothing decent should be sent near it. We need not have worried about Jade coming out on top. The biggest obstacle to her Eurosuccess was not her competitors in the ‘Your Country Needs You’ selection but the song that she would be given to sing at the contest. We were at the height o

• DJ-less mash-ups • Denim hot-pants • FMBs... F.M.! • Sexual chemistry that knows no boundaries (social, cultural, generational or moral) • Stomping around to music on stage and on walkways • Boobie shakin’ • Motorboating • Back-to-back / peek-a-boo choreography • MILFs • MILFs who like boys • Boys who like MILFs (who like boys to be milfs, who do boys like they’re milfs who do milfs like they’re boys. Always should be someone you really love • Lyrics performed properly for the first time by a professional:"I don't care if I lose my mind..." • Mickey J tributes (they’re back in!) • The nation of Sweden • Eurovision • Allsang på Grensen • Carola Haggkvist • Youtube • The internet Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in...Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and sto

What a great result on Tuesday night. My prediction list changed somewhat after the live performances and I ended up getting 8/10. Things are looking very good for a well-balanced East-West distribution in the final, and in the Jade camp they must be truly delighted with a draw that places her far away from Malta and Iceland and nestled neatly between two dance numbers. Anyway, just a quick look at tonight's line-up: Croatia Ireland Latvia Serbia Poland Norway Cyprus Slovakia Denmark Slovenia Hungary Azerbaijan Greece Lithuania Moldova Albania Ukraine Estonia The Netherlands And my 10 to qualify: Latvia Norway Cyprus Hungary Azerbaijan Greece Lithuania Moldova Albania Ukraine This was decided very hastily but I think it captures the obvious favourites (Norway, Greece, Ukraine), a mix of styles (dance, r n b, disco, rock ballad), some novelty/memorability factor (Hungary, Latvia) and geographical/diasporic expectations (Azerbaijan, Greece). Let's see what happens! I'm fizzin

Well, here we are again. It's Semifinal Day (Part 1), Jade Ewen is playing on Radio 2 and there's a tiny tear of excited anticipation creeping out of one of my eyes. I'm amazed that I have, for the first time, managed to post something on this blog during the actual week of the contest as opposed to abandoning ship, all spent by the end of national selections. Surely that's worth crying about? My own greatness and steely nerve in the face of my extreme pre-contest excitement? It's myyyyy ttiiiiiiiimmmme naaaaaaaaooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww But, you know, I really think we have a vintage year on our hands. I can say that there isn't really a single song that I dislike strongly enough to begrudge it success, and even if the whole world has decided that Norway has already won the damn thing, I'm hopeful of a nice open contest for places 2-5 if not the top spot as well. I think it's a great year for East-West balance in terms of song quality, a particularly good

That's not dancin'! And Svetlana certainly knows it, but hell, she's got the demented killer instinct of someone that, taking her artistic inspiration from madge's hard candy, takes the view that i'll do it JUST TO SHOW YOU THAT I CAN. In a contest in which schlager, novelty and even ethnobang have taken an unexpected sudden backseat to the balladeering about peace and love, this will stand out by a mile. It combines the pre-requisite ethno driving beat with the catchiest hook of any song so far. And if the outpouring of moral outrage eminating from a certain popular fansite ("This clip seem to be pure SEX" cries one offended reader) is anything to go by, svetlana will leave nothing if not an impression, favourable or otherwise and svetlana knows full well, lying there bathed in green & blacks finest, that there is no negative marking. How many decent, good quality records have limped to last place in eurovision for faling to inspire and annoy in e

It's finally here. The Melodifestivalen final takes place tonight, when we shall see the last song to be selected for Moscow, and your entire Euromoments team will be gathering in a certain London Swedish venue to watch events unfold in the company of those who care. It's good to be young, eh? There has been criticism of this year's Melodifestivalen line-up from the Swedish press, who claim that standards have slipped. These people have clearly never seen Making Your Mind Up . However, there have been some bloopers along the way... how did Velvet's The Queen (see below - a riotous Stock-Aitken-Waterman style retro dance number with a giant dress, hotpants, women in drag and great dancing.) not only fail to qualify for the Globen but come in the bottom 3 of her semifinal? I am also saddened that BWO don't have a place in the Globen this evening but that is a matter of personal taste and I managed to stop watching the video on loop yesterday. Sometimes you've ju

Dear Reader(s?), Please excuse my absence of late - Camp Carlytime has relocated and is currently not connected to the Information Super Highway. I know it's a disaster, but thankfully I have other portals at my disposal. Basically, I chose one of the worst weekends in the eurocalendar to relocate my lair. I have finally gotten around to updating the video bar with entries from Spain, Portugal, Croatia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Latvia, Azerbaijan. Even this far into the selection season, amazingly we still don't have a truly awful song in the contest. Israel has unfortunately gone all-out on cynicism, with a mid-tempo 'let's all join hands together around the world' pop song that doesn't do justice to the calibre of the two singers. The Croatian song is very traditional in style and although it is generally pleasant I fear they're a little off the money this year with a male soloist whose live singing isn't up to it. Latvia has put forward a lot of old rope i

...has been the story of Hungary's national selection for Eurovision 2009. However, it seems that Ádok Zoltán's Dance with me will be the final choice for Moscow. Check out the high-production, high-camp video to this disco ditty in the side bar. In the words of Elitsa & Stoyan (Bulgaria, 2007): We are camming to yeu with piss an lav.

Check out the side bar for the song rumoured to be the Swiss entry for 2009. It takes more than a little from New Order, maybe U2 as well. Not sure what is going on with the lead singer's Irish brogue, but I think this could do well with the juries. A big qualitative improvement on Era Stupendo , but unlikely to be as popular with those fickle little Eurofans. NB this version currently stands at 3:50 so will have to undergo some substantial cuts before May.

Check out the side bar for the results of last night's crucial national final. It feels like all my Christmasses (or rather, Krassimirs) have come at once. Thank you, thank you, thank you Carola for sprinkling your stardust on Bulgaria and making the impossible happen. I might shed a tear of joy.

Sinead Mulvey and Black Daisy. On reflection, I think this is the best result. The live performance was polished, energetic and professional and although I still don't feel confident that Ireland will make it out of the semifinal, they should be able to go to Moscow with heads high and leave with pride intact. A rare treat for Irish Eurosongs in the noughties. The stage presentation really brought it home tonight - Ireland happily makes it nine years late into the 21st Century with one of the most contemporary songs of this year's selection so far. The all-girl line-up makes a refreshing change, with not a little whisper of Vanilla Ninja and just enough campery to keep everyone happy. Good show. For your delectation, the live performance from Sinead and friends.

The time is upon us once more, when we dare to watch an assembled crowd of geriatrics arrhythmically tapping their feet to a range of MOR pop songs on live television. The Late Late Show Eurosong 2009. Oh Pat. Lovely, lovely Pat. Have you heard some of the things they've been saying about you ? They've even been so bold as to interrupt your unshakeable blandery on live television. But Pat - have you heard some of the things that you yourself have said live on air ? Are you not wise? Anyway, thanks to one Irish blogger for hitting the nail on the head re: the RTE schedule . This is at the nub of what I believe will surely prevent the most deserving Irish song being selected for Eurovision 2009 - more below. Regarding the songs, I thoroughly agree with Mr Thompson that while none of them (see below - and many thanks to Emma's YouTube channel for making the vids available) are really that awful, none of them look like they're going to challenge the top of the leaderboard

How do you solve a problem like Eurovision? With points and popularity in free-fall in many Western European countries some national broadcasters really don’t look like they have a clue where to take the contest and get back on track. They could do worse than lighting a wee candle and asking Our Lady in the second ‘O’ at the top of this page for guidance. You could definitely accuse our dear friends in Donnybrook Dublin of being at a bit of a loss. Is there anything that will cross the Late Late stage tomorrow night that can stop the rot in Ireland or will it be another case of the bland leading the bland as Pat Kenny presents Eurosong 2009? (I am so glad that Kenny Dead is back at the helm and we can recycle that.) As I write, through the wonder of t'internet I am listening to the RTE preview show that was aired on the wireless earlier. I haven’t heard all the entries yet but so far there hasn't been anything truely dreadful. But there hasn't been anything that would defin

Well, I guess they invented it: I just want to say, for the record, that the producers of the Greek national song presentation/selection show must be admired for putting on a live retrospective of THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF EUROVISION split over about 7000 commercial breaks, but it is nearly killing me. If this was Sweden, Sakis would not have given us 4 lip-synched numbers from his back catalogue at the start of the show then disappeared. Rather, he would have banged out the three songs for selection, there would have been a rapid-fire televote and results announcement and we would have everything wrapped up in 30 mins. Instead, it appears that I am doomed to grow old with this ERT production.

A little research shows this to be 1982 Luxembourgeois entry, "Cours apres le temps" by Svetlana which came 6th. A regular bar favourite across la manche! I hope Gary appreciated it.

Thank you, iPlayer. I too have joined the leagues of the mad/ the masons/ closet Eurofans / Scientologists / French). I love how one of the men sitting down in the bar says 'Zaarrrrkozee!' loudly enough for us to get the setting. Some of us didn't need it. Truly bizarre. We should write to 'Points of View' and demand an explanation!

My life it looks like cabaret. Europe has now blessed us 20 of this year’s 43 entries, and I fear that already I may have reached saturation point. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed (seeing Eurovision entries in my sleep etc.) and wondering if I needed a break. I have been on edge for a number of reasons for the last few weeks and tonight I think I finally went over. Whilst having my dinner I had one eye on Eastenders. I haven’t been following closely for the last while but during the course of the episode it became apparent that one of the main characters Gary was missing presumed dead. In the last few seconds of the show as the episode built up to the duh duh duh duh duh duh duh denouement, I saw something so unexpected that I jumped up from my dinner knocking over a pint glass of water with such force that went over the tv and all the electrical equipment at the other side of the room. The episode had cut from Gary’s worried friends and relatives to a bar that was not the Queen Vi

Well, Valentine's 2009 was certainly a packed evening for Europhiles, with five national finals taking place across the continent. All of these songs are now present and correct in our 'Story so far' video bar. My overall feeling at this new crop of songs for Moscow is a healthy level of delight. The ballads from Iceland and Poland are very polished in production and may muddy the waters a little bit for the likes of Chiara and Jade. From last night's two, I see Iceland as the stronger as the Polish contestant doesn't really have the voice to deliver her song convincingly. Nonetheless, this is an improvement in songwriting from last year's For life (sorry Isis). The third ballad of the evening came from Lithuania and Sasha Son. This sits nicely out of time, the way Eurovision should be, and I applaud them for this consistently dated follow-up to Nomads in the night . The song will surely not impact on the leaderboard come May, but Sasha is a confident performer

Ahead of the irish final next Friday night, one of the songs has sneaked into the public domain by having to withdraw from the Latvian final in which it was simultaneously a candidate. "I wish I could pretend" is a contemporary sounding ballad (albeit with a slightly dodgy late 80s guitar riff) which could find itself on a B side to a kelly clarkson single and for ireland, this is progress. Perhaps I am too used to hearing songs in the very early stages of production and still sounding desperately amateurish make their way into the irish final and it could be that RTE's approach this year of looking for an artist and song with a "polished product" is fuelling me with premature optimism. But on first listen, if this represents the general standard of this year's irish selection I would be far from disappointed... ... so whaddaya think??

Well, it is finally upon us - Miss Kiss Kiss Bang by Oscar Sings Alex Swings (a duo of German DJ Alex C featuring Oscar Loya) will represent Germany in Moscow. The act and song title were announced on Monday 9th and last night a version of the song became available. Take a look in our *ALL-NEW* 'Story so far' sidebar... Now, I have seen that readers of a certain euro fan site have been coming down on this song like a ton of decidedly unswinging bricks. Here is my two penneth. Yes, as many fans have pointed out, it is a surprise to see Germany return to a swing theme only two years after Roger Cicero's disappointing 19th place in Helsinki with ' Frauen regier'n die Welt . However, there are some marked differences in this year's entry. First, it's not really a standard swing song in the way the 2007 entry was. The production is very Europop oriented, thus the song is much better set up for a big stage presentation and for all the Euroclub disco bunnies to d

Amongst the various live shows to take place this Saturday, Piosenka dla Europy shall see the Poles choose their proud representative (and successor to Isis Gee) for Moscow. Perennial eurounderachievers, the country that brought us JP2 and pierogi has yet to give us a euro winner. I used to await the Polish entry with baited breath. In the mid nineties, the nation pushed the boundaries sending a dizzying series of fantastic female soloists with original and eclectic songs - Edyta, Justyna, Kasia, Ana Maria, they were enough to make me want to move to Poland and become a woman. But the naughties saw the zloty drop that perhaps euroland was not quite the vanguard of musical expression they had once thought... and "I want to know my sin" became "2 long" and "time to party". Boo. But part of me still wants to believe that some day a Polish entry will hark back to those heady days, and as this year there are 10 songs in the Polish final which is a nice sen

It's that time again. I'm so happy. Anyway, sorry for the late start - I have just missed some light comedy from Charlotte Nielsen (nee Pirelli nee Nielsen?) and part of Song 1. Onwards! Song 1 Nina Söderquist - Tick tock Nina is most well known in the UK for her appearances in the Monty Python Spamalot musical. This first number is very high in energy, quite rocky and a fantastic start to my favourite national selection. It's a polished performance, but I think a little out of kilter with what the general Euro-audience wants. Think Finland's 'Leave Me Alone' from 2007, but with Swedish showmanship. Song 2 Jonathan Fagerlund - Welcome to my life There's always a useful selection of implausibly good-looking young things in MF, and Jonathan falls into this category. It's a nice, upbeat pop song, which he performs almost perfectly. But, I fear that the general high quality will just squeeze this into the lower placings of the semifinal. It could win 25 othe

A music critic once described the Eurovision Song Contest as a cultural anomaly, having little or nothing to do with the popular music of the day, the music industry, commercially viable artists or the world in general. If this is the case, Malta is to the Eurovision Song Contest what the Eurovision Song Contest is to the world. Home of the Nevergreen (a song out of date in whatever decade it is placed), it is no wonder that Ralph Siegel has applied for refugee status there after having his right to artistic expression banned in Deutschland. This year's Maltese Eurovision final takes place on Saturday night and the big story is of course the return of Chiara. 3rd in Birmingham, 2nd in Kyiv. This time her journey back to the Maltese final has been one with many ups and downs. After the 2005 contest in Kyiv Chiara released her own fitness video in Malta ‘Dance Away Your Flab with Chiara'. The DVD was a huge success and she got her own weight down to 9 stone. “I was feeling great.

The last 10 years? Ortal, if you are reading this: I haven't forgotten you: Thompson Pense à Toi aaaaoooow. Seriously though I do think that Tellier was exciting: not like anything ever to cross a Eurovision stage and even though he sung in English, the whole way team France approached the contest last year was very, well... French. Kaas is the present day embodiment of the Chanson tradition. It is exciting that an artist of such renown has agreed to do this contest with a song of such quality. My first listen gave me echoes of Brel's 'Ne Me Quitte Pas' and the thought that France will leave Moscow with its dignity intact and not as many points as it deserves. I hope the returning juries see that this is not the case. My second thought is, that over my time watching this contest , as well as some real classy chansons (notably the 2001-2002 double) and a few wobbles in the wilderness (see HMSS Naya ) France, possibly more than any other country has had a knack for throw

There has been much excitement around this year's French entrant, Patricia Kaas, which began with a will-she-won't-she media circus that was recently put to rest via an official statement of her participation. The song has now been announced - it will be S'il fallait le faire from Patricia's latest album, Kabaret . A video is below - thanks to esctoday.com . On first listen, I'm very impressed indeed with this ballad. The production is great and the 'fairground' instrumentation adds considerable charm. Patricia has a stunning voice and there is no doubt that she will give a strong performance in Moscow. The song is currently too long so we shall see what comes of the 3 min version, as for the moment it might need a little bit more build to pack a punch with the audience in the final. However, I can't imagine how this won't be a huge hit with the juries. Surely this is the most exciting entry to come out of France this decade and a contender for the

I'm monitoring both the Slovenian and Dutch streams and will comment on the winners as soon as I get the info. I'm definitely curious about the Slovenian contest but can expect nothing more than a lower-half of the semifinal table placing for the Netherlands in 2009, no matter which song they choose. Slovenia has decided on Quartissimo, a string quartet crossover number with some 'popera' vocals. I didn't cover this earlier as I reckoned it didn't really have enough vocals to work in Moscow and I thought making a mimed instrumental look exciting would be difficult. But, it's entertaining. The female singer spends most of the song hidden behind some white cloth in silhouette. She bursts through near the end with a climactic melody a bit like the theme from Dallas or Dynasty. Dima Bilan says "I wanna wish you good luck and maybe winner, because you have here many friends." He now speaks in Russian while the host looks confused. I think this is a good

For as long as I can bear, I am going to watch and comment on the Dutch national final, which has just begun streaming here . God, the Ding-a-Dong woman is on the jury. Brilliant. My understanding is that male vocal showbandy group De Toppers will sing 6 songs, from which a combined televote and jury decision will determine the song for Moscow. I really don't hold out much hope for this at all and expect six almost-identical, cheesy bop-a-long ditties that will hold nothing of interest for anyone outside the Netherlands (or perhaps just the studio from which the show is being broadcast). I would be delighted to be wrong. I am currently being treated to a kind of tongue-in-cheek summary of De Toppers' "Eurovision journey" so far. 19:33 Song 1: Our Night Well, the studio looks good, and De Toppers have appeared in glittering suits (a nod to Jade Ewen, methinks). This has some pleasing group singing but it's not uplifting enough to fit the lyrics. There are women i