Your Norwegian is Quite Good
How do you solve a problem like Eurovision? With points and popularity in free-fall in many Western European countries some national broadcasters really don’t look like they have a clue where to take the contest and get back on track. They could do worse than lighting a wee candle and asking Our Lady in the second ‘O’ at the top of this page for guidance. You could definitely accuse our dear friends in Donnybrook Dublin of being at a bit of a loss. Is there anything that will cross the Late Late stage tomorrow night that can stop the rot in Ireland or will it be another case of the bland leading the bland as Pat Kenny presents Eurosong 2009? (I am so glad that Kenny Dead is back at the helm and we can recycle that.) As I write, through the wonder of t'internet I am listening to the RTE preview show that was aired on the wireless earlier. I haven’t heard all the entries yet but so far there hasn't been anything truely dreadful. But there hasn't been anything that would definitely put a full stop to Ireland's poor recent run either.
You need only look to Norway and the standard of entry in their national final taking place on Saturday to know you can stop the rot. After not doing as well as they deserved to in 2006 and deservedly not escaping the semi final the following year, Maria Haukaas Storeng came good for them in 2008. A solid performance of a decent song and a lucky draw for the final performance slot on the Saturday= top five result and renewed interest in Norway.
I firmly believe that the work of Maria Haukass in Belgrade has set in motion a virtous circle and improved the quality of the songs on offer in Melodi Grand Prix. Haven't heard them all, but two that have been brought to my attention on the All Kinds of Everything website (thank you Keith Mills et al) are definitely worth a watching.
First one up to watch is girl group Velvet. It is good to see a Eurogroup with a combined age that is over 50. As Wogan (RIP) said in 1997 of Dutch entrants Mrs Einstein “it’s great to see five big whallopers doing their stuff”. This song is one that manages to pull off the Tricky euro-feat of sounding like it could have been in the charts in the last 15 years, having shape-throwing potential at the old disco AND the velvet girls manage live harmonies on an up-tempo number without murdering it. Added bonus is opening vocals being performed by black haired Britney-a-like.
When I first heard Fairytale as an audio file sneak-peak I LOVED it. I was excited. It seemed to tick all the boxes: it was a rousing stomper with more than a bit of fiddledydee, a young singer with a good voice and heart throb poptential. The song was instant without being totally devoid of decency. I heard echoes of Brainstorm and the accompanying picture of an Elvine Alexander made me think of Renaus Kaupaurs. I thought he would be a similarly decent and loveable young man who would give us a coy performance to match the song.
A few weeks later I see the live performance on Youtube. A charming song, what could go wrong? Coy? Brainstorm? Elf? No, what we get is fiddley-diddley-DON'T: David Platt from Coronation Street stomping around the stage like he’s just pushed Gail down the stairs and doesn’t have a care in the world. He slips his tounge out with a seamy expression on his face like he has just caught sight of himself in his ceiling mirror whilst doing the business for the first time with Tina. Later on he does it again and actually looks like he is congratulating himself for being such a love machine. He’s a wrong un. I actually can't look at him.
Even though a young man who looks so conceited he could be capable of matricide is at the centre of proceedings, he is not the worst thing about it. The worst thing is what is going on around him: the completely incongruous kazak-streetdance hybrid and the two juicies who walk across the stage to catch a bus in the middle. No need.
I think that the song is so strong that it will almost certainly win on Saturday. If it does, NRK need to have a word with themselves and sort this mother-murdering dog's dinner out before it gets to Moscow. My suggestion would be to have Alexander neutered and give the backing dancers a few Mary Poppins style Step-In-Time moves with some fake-fiddles instead of chimney brooms.
Perhaps this is just what comes of hearing the song first without seeing the performance. Or perhaps this is the most inappropriate attempt at staging since some wise RTE-bod in Helsinki said “go on Cathy there, move around the stage, and look like you’re enjoying it. No, no really you want to show off your nice tudor frock don’t you? Sure there’s no point standing still at a microphone for a song like this. Great. That’s it. Ohhhh. Keep moving. Make some eye contact with the band. Now make love to the camera."
One thing I seem to forget time and again about this Contest is that you really you can't judge anything until you have actually SEEN it. The clue is in the title: Eurovision. Some, like Tim Moore who wrote the fantastic 'Nul Points' claim that you can watch the contest with the sound down and actually get a better idea of who is going to do well and who will flounder.
The webcast of the Derek Mooney show has come to an end and I think the DG of RTE will not need to worry about how the credit crunched celtic tiger will pay for the 2010 contest. However I suppose what Alexander and Tim Moore have taught us that we can't be sure about the Irish finalists until we see them tomorrow night. If we can be bothered to watch. Perhaps we should try it with the volume down.
Anyway this post has only been possible thanks to the sterling Jessica Fletcher- style research of my co-bloggers (thank you, thank you both) I have been saved from having to cut back on Eurovis for sanity's sake. I have not been driven over the edge. I am not mad. Someone actually did put the 1982 ESC on a background tv in present day Eastenders. Honest to God though, seriously though: WTF?
With my sanity apparantly intact I am duty bound to continue Eurowatching and passing comment that will hopefully be read by at least two other people.
You need only look to Norway and the standard of entry in their national final taking place on Saturday to know you can stop the rot. After not doing as well as they deserved to in 2006 and deservedly not escaping the semi final the following year, Maria Haukaas Storeng came good for them in 2008. A solid performance of a decent song and a lucky draw for the final performance slot on the Saturday= top five result and renewed interest in Norway.
I firmly believe that the work of Maria Haukass in Belgrade has set in motion a virtous circle and improved the quality of the songs on offer in Melodi Grand Prix. Haven't heard them all, but two that have been brought to my attention on the All Kinds of Everything website (thank you Keith Mills et al) are definitely worth a watching.
First one up to watch is girl group Velvet. It is good to see a Eurogroup with a combined age that is over 50. As Wogan (RIP) said in 1997 of Dutch entrants Mrs Einstein “it’s great to see five big whallopers doing their stuff”. This song is one that manages to pull off the Tricky euro-feat of sounding like it could have been in the charts in the last 15 years, having shape-throwing potential at the old disco AND the velvet girls manage live harmonies on an up-tempo number without murdering it. Added bonus is opening vocals being performed by black haired Britney-a-like.
When I first heard Fairytale as an audio file sneak-peak I LOVED it. I was excited. It seemed to tick all the boxes: it was a rousing stomper with more than a bit of fiddledydee, a young singer with a good voice and heart throb poptential. The song was instant without being totally devoid of decency. I heard echoes of Brainstorm and the accompanying picture of an Elvine Alexander made me think of Renaus Kaupaurs. I thought he would be a similarly decent and loveable young man who would give us a coy performance to match the song.
A few weeks later I see the live performance on Youtube. A charming song, what could go wrong? Coy? Brainstorm? Elf? No, what we get is fiddley-diddley-DON'T: David Platt from Coronation Street stomping around the stage like he’s just pushed Gail down the stairs and doesn’t have a care in the world. He slips his tounge out with a seamy expression on his face like he has just caught sight of himself in his ceiling mirror whilst doing the business for the first time with Tina. Later on he does it again and actually looks like he is congratulating himself for being such a love machine. He’s a wrong un. I actually can't look at him.
Even though a young man who looks so conceited he could be capable of matricide is at the centre of proceedings, he is not the worst thing about it. The worst thing is what is going on around him: the completely incongruous kazak-streetdance hybrid and the two juicies who walk across the stage to catch a bus in the middle. No need.
I think that the song is so strong that it will almost certainly win on Saturday. If it does, NRK need to have a word with themselves and sort this mother-murdering dog's dinner out before it gets to Moscow. My suggestion would be to have Alexander neutered and give the backing dancers a few Mary Poppins style Step-In-Time moves with some fake-fiddles instead of chimney brooms.
Perhaps this is just what comes of hearing the song first without seeing the performance. Or perhaps this is the most inappropriate attempt at staging since some wise RTE-bod in Helsinki said “go on Cathy there, move around the stage, and look like you’re enjoying it. No, no really you want to show off your nice tudor frock don’t you? Sure there’s no point standing still at a microphone for a song like this. Great. That’s it. Ohhhh. Keep moving. Make some eye contact with the band. Now make love to the camera."
One thing I seem to forget time and again about this Contest is that you really you can't judge anything until you have actually SEEN it. The clue is in the title: Eurovision. Some, like Tim Moore who wrote the fantastic 'Nul Points' claim that you can watch the contest with the sound down and actually get a better idea of who is going to do well and who will flounder.
The webcast of the Derek Mooney show has come to an end and I think the DG of RTE will not need to worry about how the credit crunched celtic tiger will pay for the 2010 contest. However I suppose what Alexander and Tim Moore have taught us that we can't be sure about the Irish finalists until we see them tomorrow night. If we can be bothered to watch. Perhaps we should try it with the volume down.
Anyway this post has only been possible thanks to the sterling Jessica Fletcher- style research of my co-bloggers (thank you, thank you both) I have been saved from having to cut back on Eurovis for sanity's sake. I have not been driven over the edge. I am not mad. Someone actually did put the 1982 ESC on a background tv in present day Eastenders. Honest to God though, seriously though: WTF?
With my sanity apparantly intact I am duty bound to continue Eurowatching and passing comment that will hopefully be read by at least two other people.
Comments
Honest to God, though, seriously, though, I agree that Fairytale is a strong contender and I would like to see it in Moscow. Perhaps a spell in prison or a good scolding from Audrey Roberts will help this lad smarten up his act for May.
If only we could have had 'Kamikaze Lover', then 2009 really would be the year of the violin.