EUROMOMENTS

Has anyone else started to wonder how Valletta is going to cope with the influx of 10 million flag-waving, fake-tan-wielding Eurofans in May 2008? The first time I saw Malta's national final performance I wrote Olivia Lewis' effort off as an out-and-out mess. I wished that they'd stuck to the On again, off again format and left all this "epic" nonsense behind. Then the video came out, and I felt sorry for poor Olivia - all she wanted was a nice big Chiara tune to belt out in Helsinki, and they've made her run around like something from a French & Saunders parody while being chased by a ghost (sh*t, there I go spoiling the ending for you...) But here's the catch. I've shown this video to some select non-Euro cohorts, and THEY LIKE IT. THEY THINK IT WILL DO VERY WELL. What result will May 10th produce? They say yes. I say no. Loving ESC gives me vertigo.

Hello possums. Well, to use another word of which our dear Dame Edna is fond, Easter is a spooky time of year (coming back from the dead an' all that). So, I thought I'd treat you to a little mystic Euro-connection. Have you noticed that both Ireland and Iceland use "stage" and "cage" to form a rhyming couplet in their 2007 Euro entries? Check it out: Ireland Lyrics Iceland Lyrics Thanks to The Diggiloo Thrush for the lyrics. "Jeepers Creepers! That Carlytime's a tough one!" I hear you cry. But wait - there's more. Listen verrrrry carefully to Belarus and France because they carry the same damned violin riff in the backing track (thanks to noogie and Mr Thompson for the tip-off). You'll poop your pants and wow your Euro-pals with that little nugget. Happy Easter Chickens.

Volume 2: Descent of the Drag Queens Oh we are a lucky bunch of europhiles this year, with not one but two men dressed as women to entertain us in ESC. Because, of course (come on now, everybody sing it together:) "Eurovision is all about fun and having a good time". Dressing up as a woman has not always been my idea of fun and I AM ONE. Fortunately, it's not necessary to run away just yet, as the two cross-dressing countries of 2007 fall beautifully under my two favourite labels... HOT Ukraine - Lasha Tumbai - Verka Serdyuchka For the heated debate on the meaning of the song title, see Noogie's most recent posting. This has turned into quite the sensation of 07. Poor old Verka has brought us a rather amusing little turbo-folk ditty that harks back to Alf Poier's Austrian entry of 2003, with quirky costumes, the old accordian (Wogie loves his accordian) and some nice catawauling backing vocals. On first listen, it's the kind of thing you think you'd prefe