You are so crazy bum

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That's not dancin'!

And Svetlana certainly knows it, but hell, she's got the demented killer instinct of someone that, taking her artistic inspiration from madge's hard candy, takes the view that i'll do it JUST TO SHOW YOU THAT I CAN.

In a contest in which schlager, novelty and even ethnobang have taken an unexpected sudden backseat to the balladeering about peace and love, this will stand out by a mile. It combines the pre-requisite ethno driving beat with the catchiest hook of any song so far. And if the outpouring of moral outrage eminating from a certain popular fansite ("This clip seem to be pure SEX" cries one offended reader) is anything to go by, svetlana will leave nothing if not an impression, favourable or otherwise and svetlana knows full well, lying there bathed in green & blacks finest, that there is no negative marking. How many decent, good quality records have limped to last place in eurovision for faling to inspire and annoy in equal measure? Stand up mahlene, no angels, knut anders...

If you think that the juries will somehow be immune to such shameless vote mongering gyrating depravity then think again. I recognise that this year, more than any other, it ain't over till the fat lady sings but nonetheless for me, this is so far the one to beat...

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