DEUTSCHLAND, DEUTSCHLAND...

.. what have you done? The three contenders for the guaranteed Grand Final spot in Helsinki have just been published online. You can find the audio files from here, if you dare expose your ears.

Basically, these are a sorry disappointment from Germany. Things were really looking up in 2006 with Texas Lightning, who deserved to finish in a much better position in Athens. However, this national selection final looks like a survival of the blandest. Roger Cicero's song, Women rule the world, is a Michael Buble style swing number with an alright melody and an okay orchestration. I haven't quite deciphered the lyrics from the 2 listens I've given it, but I suspect that the content would have feminists all over Europe throwing their rosehip teas at the screen on May 12th - let's just say he's not singing about Kanzler Angela and Condie Rice in this little ditty about sweetness and long legs.

Monrose's Even Heaven Cries is about the blandest of the three, but strangely it could actually work quite well in Eurovision, if there were a live orchestra. There's already an orchestral accompaniment on the track which could really be accentuated for the live performance, with beefy bass swells from the lower strings on the chorus. This is the best of a bad bunch.

Someone quite sharp on esctoday.com pointed out that the opening of Die Welt ist Pop bears more than a passing resemblance to the Stones' Start Me Up. However, Heinz Rudolf Kunze could have done with copying a bit more from Jagger and friends. This is sh*t. And I simply don't understand why someone would submit a Eurovision song that has a fade out. What's he going to do - start creeping off the stage at 2:50, holding the mic gradually further and further from his mouth until he achieves silence on the 3-minute mark? Give me a break.

I really hope the other "Big Four" nations can give us something to be happy about.

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