An Open Letter of Thanks to RTE.
Watching the RTE Late Late Eurosong special on RTE player with a cup of tea in bed this morning I thought to myself, can life get much better than this?
Last year’s Eurosong achieved something that has never been done before or since by a live Eurovision related programme that I have watched. It induced sleep. I awoke with a jolt at the end of the proceedings covered in my own drool to see Jedward victorious, unsure of what year it was or what I was doing. “Where’s me dinner Avaline???!”.
Not being able to watch live last night and saving the show til the morning helped avoid a narcoleptic repetition this year. I was also determined not to see the result before watching the programme on RTE’s catch up service. Surprisingly this was not difficult in Denmark where I am currently living – no news coverage from Donnybrook on DR 1. I didn’t look at Facebook and was careful to bypass the homepage of rte.ie in case the 2013 representative of Ireland would be smiling back at me.
Delighted with myself, I went straight to the RTE player page. In order to make the programme play I HAD TO CLICK ON A PICTURE OF THE WINNER posing with tricolours and Ryan Tubirdy.
Here is a clue- people watching on catch up will usually not have seen the programme.
In all fairness this has probably caught the team who upload the Late Late to RTE player off guard. There usually isn’t any result to be spoiled – a picture of Ryan Tubirdy doing his ‘smug meets wooden’ (not a patch on your wooden smug Pat Kenny, Nothing Compares 2U xxx) as he interviews one of that evening’s guests is a fine picture to click on to get the Late Late going on t’internet. It doesn’t give away anything about the show (except that you might be better getting up and having a life rather than wasting your Saturday morning in bed watching it). This is probably payback for the times that I have been indiscreet and ruined the endings of movies, films and tv series for loved ones (I apologise again Carltime for the Girl with the Dragon Tayto (cheese and onion)).
Anyway, apart from ensuring that it was impossible for me to see the show without knowing the winning act in advance, other highlights RTE delivered for me this year were:
1. Wheeling out Shay Healy to show that he is slowly morphing into Ian Paisley.
2. Danny Devito.
Honest to God though seriously though.
I understand this is a national final on a budget and we are all doing the best we can in difficult times. I am grateful that somebody has found a few Punts down the back of the sofa to put on a national final using the Late Late format. But I cannot fathom how anybody could think it is a good idea to stick a completely unrelated interview with a Hollywood star in the middle of it. What is even more incomprehensible is that this is becoming a tradition. It doesn't make sense and completely jars with the rest of the programme. Why don’t the production team just go the whole hog and do one of those low lit interviews with one of those ‘real life people’ who has been through an unspeakable tragedy.
What might make more sense is interviewing the unspeakable tragedy that is Johnny Logan. If we’re fed up of him, Ireland is a nation with an unending list of presenters, singers and performers who have been involved in the history of Eurovision. One of them might just have the time for an interview. Or here’s a radical idea to fill time – let some other poor sod have a go and have an extra song. No? OK. Even I understand how dangerous a Euro-Overdose can be. But if you want to cleanse the pallet with something different what about some sort of interval act, or if determined to include an interview what about someone involved in the Irish music industry, or just somebody from Ireland or even Europe who might have a chance of knowing what Eurovision is? Do they fit in inappropriate interviews in other Late Late specials? Cutting away from the children on the Toyshow to talk to Enda Kenny about the state of the economy or the latest abuse scandal.
Honest to God though. Seriously though.
3. The choreography for ‘Kiss me there’ which explained exactly where ‘there’ is, just in case you didn’t know.
I managed to stay awake til the end this year. Even though he is from our neck of the woods, I can’t warm to the winner. This might be because I kept thinking of a young but botoxed John Travolting when I looked at him. Even though the panel sneered at what the rest of Europe has already chosen, I think this will be doing well to get out of the semi in Malmo. On the bright side when you combine this with eurodance sounds of Cascada, it really looks like Eurovision has arrived in the 1990s. Welcome. Who knows where we’ll end up next!
Not being able to watch live last night and saving the show til the morning helped avoid a narcoleptic repetition this year. I was also determined not to see the result before watching the programme on RTE’s catch up service. Surprisingly this was not difficult in Denmark where I am currently living – no news coverage from Donnybrook on DR 1. I didn’t look at Facebook and was careful to bypass the homepage of rte.ie in case the 2013 representative of Ireland would be smiling back at me.
Delighted with myself, I went straight to the RTE player page. In order to make the programme play I HAD TO CLICK ON A PICTURE OF THE WINNER posing with tricolours and Ryan Tubirdy.
Here is a clue- people watching on catch up will usually not have seen the programme.
In all fairness this has probably caught the team who upload the Late Late to RTE player off guard. There usually isn’t any result to be spoiled – a picture of Ryan Tubirdy doing his ‘smug meets wooden’ (not a patch on your wooden smug Pat Kenny, Nothing Compares 2U xxx) as he interviews one of that evening’s guests is a fine picture to click on to get the Late Late going on t’internet. It doesn’t give away anything about the show (except that you might be better getting up and having a life rather than wasting your Saturday morning in bed watching it). This is probably payback for the times that I have been indiscreet and ruined the endings of movies, films and tv series for loved ones (I apologise again Carltime for the Girl with the Dragon Tayto (cheese and onion)).
Anyway, apart from ensuring that it was impossible for me to see the show without knowing the winning act in advance, other highlights RTE delivered for me this year were:
1. Wheeling out Shay Healy to show that he is slowly morphing into Ian Paisley.
2. Danny Devito.
Honest to God though seriously though.
I understand this is a national final on a budget and we are all doing the best we can in difficult times. I am grateful that somebody has found a few Punts down the back of the sofa to put on a national final using the Late Late format. But I cannot fathom how anybody could think it is a good idea to stick a completely unrelated interview with a Hollywood star in the middle of it. What is even more incomprehensible is that this is becoming a tradition. It doesn't make sense and completely jars with the rest of the programme. Why don’t the production team just go the whole hog and do one of those low lit interviews with one of those ‘real life people’ who has been through an unspeakable tragedy.
What might make more sense is interviewing the unspeakable tragedy that is Johnny Logan. If we’re fed up of him, Ireland is a nation with an unending list of presenters, singers and performers who have been involved in the history of Eurovision. One of them might just have the time for an interview. Or here’s a radical idea to fill time – let some other poor sod have a go and have an extra song. No? OK. Even I understand how dangerous a Euro-Overdose can be. But if you want to cleanse the pallet with something different what about some sort of interval act, or if determined to include an interview what about someone involved in the Irish music industry, or just somebody from Ireland or even Europe who might have a chance of knowing what Eurovision is? Do they fit in inappropriate interviews in other Late Late specials? Cutting away from the children on the Toyshow to talk to Enda Kenny about the state of the economy or the latest abuse scandal.
Honest to God though. Seriously though.
3. The choreography for ‘Kiss me there’ which explained exactly where ‘there’ is, just in case you didn’t know.
I managed to stay awake til the end this year. Even though he is from our neck of the woods, I can’t warm to the winner. This might be because I kept thinking of a young but botoxed John Travolting when I looked at him. Even though the panel sneered at what the rest of Europe has already chosen, I think this will be doing well to get out of the semi in Malmo. On the bright side when you combine this with eurodance sounds of Cascada, it really looks like Eurovision has arrived in the 1990s. Welcome. Who knows where we’ll end up next!
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